Working Out What To Do With Our Lives
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Welcome to our weekly newsletter!
At some point in our lifetimes we will no doubt ending up asking the question of what we want to do with our life. If you haven’t yet had to face this question then you are either in a fantastic position and good on you, or you just haven’t tackled the question yet.
I started to face this question myself and thankfully I had just been recommended a book by Po Bronson, aptly titled “What Should I Do With My Life?”. I delved in, expecting a blueprint for how to answer life’s big questions and come out the other end knowing exactly where I was going. Initially I was very wrong and came away from the opening section somewhat disappointed. The book was more an insight into several lives, as people also tried to grapple with this huge question.
But as I read on, it became very clear that there was a great comfort in this book, and it was showing me more than I first recognised. Every story gave a completely new perspective on this question and whilst some came away with a better next step, there were those for which their next move was not successful and those whose next step just led to more of the same. The comfort came in the form that others were tackling the same feelings that I was and that there are no guarantees in this life. Sometimes we have to be bold to make a change, knowing that the future is uncertain. Below I have summarised some key points from the book, which really resonated with me:
Most People Avoid Taking a Risk When Times are “Good”
This may seem fairly obvious, but it was actually a point which really struck me, and I will provide a little bit more detail to exactly what the point was getting to. There are times in our life when everything is just okay, or an amount of life feels good, so even when there are difficulties we know need to be fixed, we tend to put off making a change. In simple terms, we put up with the bad parts, knowing that there is an amount of good that we don't want to risk losing.
Too often we allow ourselves to be placed under difficult circumstances, living in the fear that there may be a sacrifice ahead. The lesson I learnt from Bronson’s book is that sometimes we all need to step out and take a risk to try and make our lives better. I think deep down we all know when this line is crossed, but if there is one thing I have taken away from this book, it is that sometimes you are best placed to take that leap in the good times, rather than when something has become so bad that you have no alternative. So, I encourage everyone to be bold and if there is a step out there for you, then be brave and take it.
Paths Are Very Rarely Guided by an Epiphany
I am sure we have all heard of that story where a great leader was working a 9-5 job, miserable and feeling there was something more. One day whilst doing a random task they had an epiphany of the product they would create, and that product went on to become legendary. The lifestyle and wealth followed accordingly, and all was well. The problem is that more often than not, these big epiphanies don’t happen, and we can become downbeat when we haven’t experienced something similar to this.
In each case of Bronson’s book, the people that had clarity on the change they needed to make were open to new experiences. Each individual was open to exploring new avenues and being honest with themselves on whether this was, or was not, something for them to take forward in the future. It was through trial and error that people found their purpose and I would encourage everyone to ignore the popular concept that an epiphany will guide your next change. The best bet is to start exploring new experiences and develop your curious mindset.
Question How Much Your “Inner Circle” Shapes You
In Bronson’s book, the “Inner Circle” is a great name given to external influences, which may be impacting our decision-making around what we should do with our lives. This group is essentially those influences that you feel may cast a strong judgement over your life and any steps you may look to take. For some this may take the form of family, for others it can be friends, and some may even be shaped by the fear of public criticism for their next step.
The likelihood is that for many, if those influences exist in a negative capacity for a perceived change, it may be difficult to alter their views and convince them of your next step. So, the best move is to step back from these perspectives and allow your true judgement to come through. There is certainly strength required in taking a step that you fear your inner circle may not agree with, however you will struggle to make the right move if you allow those views to take over what it is you truly want to do with your life. It might even be that you have the freedom to make little trials of your new pathway and see how it feels. If those influences don’t take too much notice or provide their backing, it may provide the confidence to make a larger step.
Your Vision is Free to Change
Another misconception which we should try to overcome is that once we are on a pathway, we must remain on that same line of thinking. The truth is that change is fluid and very often, it is important to move with your feeling as you explore new opportunities. There is a limit to this though and if you are taking a big move with something like starting your own business, multiple changes of direction and vision may hamper your progress. However, there is a level of flexibility required to get to your goal.
Feeling free to change may also help you to avoid the pitfall of worrying about running out of time. There may be instances when time is a factor, which you need to consider, but it is good practice to try to remove the stresses, so that you can focus on good decision-making for your future. As Bronson’s book displays, we are not fortune tellers and part of the journey is being able to move with the path as it is laid out ahead of you.
This is no doubt a much bigger topic than can be covered in a weekly newsletter, but we hope that this will provide some food for thought in the days ahead. Have a great week!
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